The Mr. Universe blog was not supposed to be next. As a matter of fact, I fancied a much different version of this story. For once, I thought, for once this will be something good.
There are people in the world who don’t care. They don’t’ care about, your feelings, or integrity. At all. They will be all willy-nilly with your emotions, dangle your time at the end of their fishing line—they will do whatever it takes so that they get what they want. They. Are. Reckless.
They are manipulative. Diabolical even. This is a story about Mr. Universe.
Mr. Universe…I thought for a brief second that maybe he was the lobster. Turned out that he was just a liar. He said things that should be sacred…
I am only talking to you
We super click and I trust my gut always
Me: what do you want from me? Him: everything
You gotta trust your feelings and the universe.
The UNIVERSE? Really? That was a new one and I gotta say, I was bamboozled.
Damn right I believe in the universe….but what was the universe trying to tell me? Did we click, yes…but what did MY gut say? Proceed with caution!!
Unfortunately I was right, but it’s still disappointing.
I recounted the series of events to my friend who responded with “gosh, is anyone genuine??”
I don’t know universe, you tell me….
The lesson learned is that yes, trust your gut. Trust your gut and not what the other person is saying to you. But don’t be closed off. I decided to jump in and it was the wrong choice, but maybe it was better than being closed to everything. Experiences teach us, mold us and shape us. I can only hope I am smarter and stronger each time I am a party to someone else’s faults and failings. My gut also gave me a nudge of warning, and I listened to that too.
The lesson learned is that it’s still not about me! I can control who I am, what I do and what I think. I can’t control the universe, or Mr. Universe. If he wants to lead his life as a manipulator and a liar, than he will attract much of the same. I am not wishing that on him, but we get what put out there.
The lesson learned is that I still need to work on being cool at the beginning. That’s the worst for me because I want to know where I stand immediately. Are we doing this or not? That’s not the best approach and I will have to work on chilling out or I will sabotage everything!
So, my question remains that if we do really get what we put out there, and I am putting out genuine and honesty….why am I still wading through the garbage?
I still believe in magic. I still trust my gut.
Come on universe, be kind.
Next: I’m not giving up!
I am blue, he is gray….I am bamboozled….
P.S. Dear Mr. Universe,
You don’t know what’s good. You think you do, what you are wrong. Good luck out there.
Dear Readers….a day after writing this I am wondering if I could have handled things better. Actually, I know I could have. This incident has revealed some important points that I need to work on…trusting people (whether they are trustworthy or not I suppose) instead having distrust on auto-pilot….confrontation…I already know I need to wait until I think something through I before send the text or say the words but I didn’t do that, and I often don’t, and it’s always a wrecking ball. I also realized that I need a person to be my deflector. The beginnings of a date-lationship always makes me a twisted knot of self-doubt, urgency and crazy. I need someone to help me be cool. So, in hindsight, yes, he lied. Does that make him terrible? I don’t know. Maybe I jumped the gun or maybe I did myself a favor, either way, I could have done it with more grace. I sent an apology text. Now I can live with myself.