Dang it’s hard being a grown up. Dang, it’s even harder being a single, Christian woman trying to date.
Let me tell you a story about the dirty boy, having integrity, and how being a little sad in the moment can help you maintain your integrity in the long run.
Miss Jackson if You’re Nasty
I met a nice guy on Bumble. Buzz, buzz, he was organized, steady, responsible, good dad, financially secure, all that. BUT… he’s kinda a pervert.
Sure, sure, most dudes are. But this was different. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that he preferred to memorialize and share certain things. I’m not down with all that….dirty!
About the sexting…..
OK, we’re all adults and we can do what we want, yaddy yadda….but the sexting and the send nudes stuff, isn’t that a little much? I’m not placing judgment on anyone who likes that but it’s not for me. Here’s why:
- That’s a looooooot of trust you are placing in their hands. One forward and your intimates can go viral. I don’t care how much they promise they won’t share them, don’t believe it.
- It’s skipping steps. To get to the place where you are in an adult, exclusive relationship, you cannot skip steps by sharing all the intimates from the jump. Save that stuff. Keep some mystery.
- You don’t need to show all the cards in your hand (or all the skin) just so someone will like you. If that’s their requirement, move on. That’s not respectful. Your skin is scared. It’s not for the world to see, judge and dissect.
- You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day. For me, I wouldn’t be able to feel good about that. I am a leader for high school girls. How can I be the kind of leader I want to be if I do something I would advise them NOT to do? Something I have told my own child to never do?
I know the pressure to send explicit pics is big. It’s like we have accepted this as a normal practice in the dating game. Being different and saying no to that can (and has) cost the interest of potential suitors. Fear not though, that’s a very shallow reason and I have no interest in a person who isn’t more genuine then that.
So keep those boobies and booties covered girls! Hold out for the one who will respect you enough to treat you like a person and not a visual aid to their pleasure.
Men, boys, PLEASE. No woman wants to see a pic of your eggplant. I am so serious right now. Let it be a surprise. Plus, it’s REALLY BAD MANNERS!!!!
So, as of now, my life is crazy busy and after the last series of dating disappointments I cannot invest any more time in that quest at the moment. Winter break is coming soon, maybe I’ll jump back on then!
Potential responses to requests for nudes:
“I can’t right now, I’m driving” (just say that every time)
“Sorry, my phone storage is full.”
“I don’t understand what you mean!”
End the conversation, move on…..its ok really!
Send GIFs of Michael Jackson moonwalking
Send pics of Naked juice
Send pics of famous art with nude people
Send pics of nuns
Send other random pics of things unrelated to your body, get creative, have fun.
Can your eggplant do this? No…?Cool, I’m not interested.